In late September 2008 Meg Ryan reached out to the public in In Style Magazine claiming actor and former husband Dennis Quaid had been unfaithful to her "for a very long time." Quaid, having been divorced from Ryan for eight years, said he was sick of being demonized as the bad guy and that the actress was "out of control" and "unstable."
With the the article laid to rest for over two months, Quaid decided to come out and tell his side of the story. "You know, you might think Meg is a sweet heart, but she's far from it... there's a thing or two you don't know about that crazy bitch!"
Quaid explained that in 1998, two years before the couples' divorce, Meg had attempted to seduce him with, "some sort of new 'move.' Our sex life was in the shitter, and she said we should try something more risky."
To the actor's surprise, Meg transformed in bed, literally. Quaid recounts, "It was like nothing I'd ever seen. And I'm not talking about her shitty plastic surgery. Her skin came off like a banana peel. And what was left, was (pause) terrifying." Quaid went on to explain how he felt violated and raped by the entire process. "She took over and I lost control. Next thing I know my head is in her mouth, and she's just gnawing away. With what little energy I had left, I kicked her away." Quaid went on to say that he returned the next day to find Ryan calmly watching You've Got Mail on the couch.
After hearing Quaid's story, scientist came to the conclusion that America's sweet heart was, in fact, a Praying Mantis. Noah Shyler, professor of Human Mutations at The University of Washington stated, "Well, we didn't come to the conclusion right away. It wasn't clear until Mr. Quaid told us about her attempts to bite his head off that we decided there was only one logical explanation. Meg Ryan is a fucking Praying Mantis."
No comments:
Post a Comment